Tuesday, July 05, 2005
He's still breathing!
It's been like weeks and weeks since a post. I think that since me and Dave haven't been hanging out we've been genuinely nicer people. We're like chlorine and bleach which are both horrible on their own, but when mixed produce a noxious toxin. Anyway I'm going to try to make an attempt to make some posts. Me and Dave may be hanging out in 2 weeks and that will definitely make for some interesting stuff.
-That kid growing up who always got hurt, and you'd be having the best time doing something and he manage to run into a street pole or something.
-Basic Elmers glue. In comparision to a good glue stick it was messy, weak as hell, and smelled bad.
-Netzero, their whole angle was free internet, but it's like 14.99 a month. At least change your name to Net14.99
-On that note, Earthlink
-People who own an I-Pod and find an excuse to use it in ever sentensc and make me feel bad because I'm too cheap to buy one. "Oh I saw the meteor hit that old folks home while I was listening to music on my Apple I-Pod 40 gig U2 Verigo Edition.
-Those Coke commercials with those like 5 kids who are on a road trip in California and they're like "So uh yea! There were these kids jousting in shopping carts, so we uh made Jax get in and try, and then we like met this dude who grows his own lemons and like has an extreme lemon eating contest!"
-I always hated the collar popper, but the other day I saw a guy with like 5 polos on with the collars popped on each one. I hate you
-Bonfires
Thats it for now, once I get the ball rolling and Dave back into it expect more
-That kid growing up who always got hurt, and you'd be having the best time doing something and he manage to run into a street pole or something.
-Basic Elmers glue. In comparision to a good glue stick it was messy, weak as hell, and smelled bad.
-Netzero, their whole angle was free internet, but it's like 14.99 a month. At least change your name to Net14.99
-On that note, Earthlink
-People who own an I-Pod and find an excuse to use it in ever sentensc and make me feel bad because I'm too cheap to buy one. "Oh I saw the meteor hit that old folks home while I was listening to music on my Apple I-Pod 40 gig U2 Verigo Edition.
-Those Coke commercials with those like 5 kids who are on a road trip in California and they're like "So uh yea! There were these kids jousting in shopping carts, so we uh made Jax get in and try, and then we like met this dude who grows his own lemons and like has an extreme lemon eating contest!"
-I always hated the collar popper, but the other day I saw a guy with like 5 polos on with the collars popped on each one. I hate you
-Bonfires
Thats it for now, once I get the ball rolling and Dave back into it expect more
Monday, May 16, 2005
NOTE
John and I are in the process of ending our semester at school, and are packing up and heading home. Because of this, there will be a few days where there will be no updates. But not to worry, we'll be back with more things that disgust us soon.
-Dave
John and I are in the process of ending our semester at school, and are packing up and heading home. Because of this, there will be a few days where there will be no updates. But not to worry, we'll be back with more things that disgust us soon.
-Dave
Sunday, May 15, 2005
-The phrase 'Get at me.' Is there anything worse? Can you think of anything worse?
Saturday, May 14, 2005
-When a girl puts on so much fake tanner she turns orange. It is the most un-hot thing a girl can do.
-When people have those can opener magnets on their refrigerators
Thursday, May 12, 2005
-Tom and Jerry cartoons
-People who have every single type of lawn decoration ever invented--pinwheels, a big ceramic sun with a human face, the wooden cutout of an old lady bending over, etc.
-Relish in a squeeze bottle
-People who buy jeans that are already all worn and ripped
-Little kids who say, "Get off MY property!"
-People who say, "I heart _____." Really lame. Just say love.
-Those giant knotty dog bones that make a dog's breath smell.
-That little key to the left of the 1 button on a keyboard that has two punctuation marks that are never used by anyone ever. That has to be the least pressed key of all time.
-People who have every single type of lawn decoration ever invented--pinwheels, a big ceramic sun with a human face, the wooden cutout of an old lady bending over, etc.
-Relish in a squeeze bottle
-People who buy jeans that are already all worn and ripped
-Little kids who say, "Get off MY property!"
-People who say, "I heart _____." Really lame. Just say love.
-Those giant knotty dog bones that make a dog's breath smell.
-That little key to the left of the 1 button on a keyboard that has two punctuation marks that are never used by anyone ever. That has to be the least pressed key of all time.
-Whoever invented the dog leash for children. It's important to keep an eye on your kid, but a freaking leash?
-People who need to drink before they do anything. We're going to a movie, lets go wasted so we can be assholes and ruin it for everyone!
-Those neon pink and green color schemes that were so prevalent throughout the late 80's and early 90's.
-Kids who went to camps. Your parents only sent you there because they didn't want you around. They don't care if you learned to play the tuba and make friendship bracelets.
-Wristbands
-the Mr.Bucket toy, though a bit past my time it seemed horrible. No matter what you really did he just spit that shit right back out. I think they made it with attention defecit disorder in mind.
-People who need to drink before they do anything. We're going to a movie, lets go wasted so we can be assholes and ruin it for everyone!
-Those neon pink and green color schemes that were so prevalent throughout the late 80's and early 90's.
-Kids who went to camps. Your parents only sent you there because they didn't want you around. They don't care if you learned to play the tuba and make friendship bracelets.
-Wristbands
-the Mr.Bucket toy, though a bit past my time it seemed horrible. No matter what you really did he just spit that shit right back out. I think they made it with attention defecit disorder in mind.
-When fat girls are like "damn she's so skinny its gross"
-Those velcro catch games people play at the beach
-when a girl catches you staring at her cleavage. It's seriously the most akward moment and I try to pretend I was staring at something behind them but it never works.
-The "Blowout" haircut that 9/10 Italian Americans have
-Those cheap bandaids that are like that rubber outside.
-People who name their dogs people names. What happened to "Spike" and "Rex" or "Stinky"
-Straight up Quaker Oats Oatmeal in that big cylinder
-The meatballs in chef boyarde canned pasta
-Having that friend growing up with the coolest video games and like a pool, but you'd go over his house and he'd want to draw or something.
-Those velcro catch games people play at the beach
-when a girl catches you staring at her cleavage. It's seriously the most akward moment and I try to pretend I was staring at something behind them but it never works.
-The "Blowout" haircut that 9/10 Italian Americans have
-Those cheap bandaids that are like that rubber outside.
-People who name their dogs people names. What happened to "Spike" and "Rex" or "Stinky"
-Straight up Quaker Oats Oatmeal in that big cylinder
-The meatballs in chef boyarde canned pasta
-Having that friend growing up with the coolest video games and like a pool, but you'd go over his house and he'd want to draw or something.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
-Those keychains that girls have that say things like, "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar," or "Bitch on Board."
-The haircuts on the two dudes in the Harry Potter movies. What is with the old '70s style hair? They look like they're in Boston or Blue Oyster Cult. Stop trying to look like hip indie rockers.
-When it rains in the summer, then the sun comes back out, the way the street smells afterwards. That big, steamy asphalt smell. It gives me a headache.
-The fact that at a big shopping center or mall, there are like 400 handicapped parking spots. They're never, ever filled. Why do we need so many? All the handicapped people in the area are not going to come to the mall all at the same time on the same day, so what the hell? Honestly, you really don't need more than five or six.
-On the same subject, when you see some old guy getting out of a Corvette or sports car that has a handicapped parking permit. If you're so disabled, why are you driving a car with seat that are three inches from the ground? You can't be that disabled.
-Kids that play the cymbals in a high school band. What a cop out.
-When you see a shirt or hat all grimy and run over on a highway. Who just lets their clothes fall out of the car?
-The haircuts on the two dudes in the Harry Potter movies. What is with the old '70s style hair? They look like they're in Boston or Blue Oyster Cult. Stop trying to look like hip indie rockers.
-When it rains in the summer, then the sun comes back out, the way the street smells afterwards. That big, steamy asphalt smell. It gives me a headache.
-The fact that at a big shopping center or mall, there are like 400 handicapped parking spots. They're never, ever filled. Why do we need so many? All the handicapped people in the area are not going to come to the mall all at the same time on the same day, so what the hell? Honestly, you really don't need more than five or six.
-On the same subject, when you see some old guy getting out of a Corvette or sports car that has a handicapped parking permit. If you're so disabled, why are you driving a car with seat that are three inches from the ground? You can't be that disabled.
-Kids that play the cymbals in a high school band. What a cop out.
-When you see a shirt or hat all grimy and run over on a highway. Who just lets their clothes fall out of the car?
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
-People who called cigarettes stoges, bogies, stogies, whatever
-When linoleum tiles are real old and begin to like warp and foldup
-Guys who go tanning...I'm sorry Chris
-Guys who wear bracelets
-Girls who have a tattoo right over their ass. I find that to be in the most unattractive thing ever. It's almost as bad as those barbed wire tattoos guys get around their arm.
-Away messages and AIM profiles like this: Never Regret--If it was good, it was wonderful, if it was bad--it's experience:-)when u start to miss someone from ur past, think back and remember the reason they didn't make it to ur future* Seriously, the whole world doesn't need to know your boyfrend banged your bestfriend. Get over it.
-Beepers
-Guys who go tanning...I'm sorry Chris
-Guys who wear bracelets
-Girls who have a tattoo right over their ass. I find that to be in the most unattractive thing ever. It's almost as bad as those barbed wire tattoos guys get around their arm.
-Away messages and AIM profiles like this: Never Regret--If it was good, it was wonderful, if it was bad--it's experience:-)when u start to miss someone from ur past, think back and remember the reason they didn't make it to ur future* Seriously, the whole world doesn't need to know your boyfrend banged your bestfriend. Get over it.
-Beepers
-When you have a bar of soap for a real long time and it gets real thin in the middle, and you end up having to fold the soap over and furiously scrub your body with a little ball of soap.
-When construction paper is up on a board for a real long time and it gets all faded, then when you take it down, a section of it that was covered by something is the original color and the rest is all faded. I know this is a weird thing, but its just irritating and I don't understand why it happens.
-"Frasier"
-When you see a piece of heavy duty industrial plastic stuck in a tree, all mangled up and shredded.
-Anyone who eats goat cheese.
-People who listen to the radio at a baseball game. Why even go to the game if you're just going to sit there and listen to the play-by-play anyway?
-When people's breath smells like peanut butter.
-When you see people at the beach and they are eating non-beach foods, like salad.
-When construction paper is up on a board for a real long time and it gets all faded, then when you take it down, a section of it that was covered by something is the original color and the rest is all faded. I know this is a weird thing, but its just irritating and I don't understand why it happens.
-"Frasier"
-When you see a piece of heavy duty industrial plastic stuck in a tree, all mangled up and shredded.
-Anyone who eats goat cheese.
-People who listen to the radio at a baseball game. Why even go to the game if you're just going to sit there and listen to the play-by-play anyway?
-When people's breath smells like peanut butter.
-When you see people at the beach and they are eating non-beach foods, like salad.
Monday, May 09, 2005
-Having to turn all your socks right side in when you do laundry.
-People who collect shot glasses.
-Elvis impersonaters. Actually, impersonaters of any kind.
-White crayons. Why do they feel the need to include the color white as a standard color? The only place they are usable is on black paper, and when do you write on black paper? Halloween, and that's it. Stop being cheap and include a color more people could use; keep the white for your big ass boxes.
-Trying to rip open packs of soy sauce and duck sauce that come with Chinese takeout.
-The pencil erasers that instead of erasing the graphite just smear pink all over the page.
-Key rings that are impossible to get keys onto.
-People who collect shot glasses.
-Elvis impersonaters. Actually, impersonaters of any kind.
-White crayons. Why do they feel the need to include the color white as a standard color? The only place they are usable is on black paper, and when do you write on black paper? Halloween, and that's it. Stop being cheap and include a color more people could use; keep the white for your big ass boxes.
-Trying to rip open packs of soy sauce and duck sauce that come with Chinese takeout.
-The pencil erasers that instead of erasing the graphite just smear pink all over the page.
-Key rings that are impossible to get keys onto.
-When you sit down in a seat, and you can still feel the ass warmth from someone who was sitting there before you. Gross.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
-When you play fight with a girl, and they try to hit you in the balls. Girls don't realize how serious a matter this is, and in no way could it be thought of as "play." There is no female equivalent.
-Going to a family member's house and having to figure out their shower for two hours, and have it not work right anyway. Why do relative's showers have like three levers and fingerprint scanning systems to make it work.
-Puka Shell Necklaces
-Baseball card shops in the mall
-People that have snakes as pets. Or iguana. The worst pet..about as much fun as watching paint dry.
-Smell of kidnergarten bathrooms. Peanut butter, snot, paste, etc.
-Jar of cotton balls in the doctor's office
-People that have seen clockwork orange and pretend they know everthing about movies
-Calculator Watches
-People that ride rollerblades indoors. and skate boards for that matter.
-Baby Genius' movies
-Realtor signs with pictures on it. What you think people are going to buy a house now because you're face on it.
-Pink And Yellow Polos on dudes
-Capes
-Solar Eclipse Party
-Atmoic Bomb drills that they made kids do in the 50's. Covreing your head under your desk with do absolutely zero in the event of a nuclear blast.
-Puka Shell Necklaces
-Baseball card shops in the mall
-People that have snakes as pets. Or iguana. The worst pet..about as much fun as watching paint dry.
-Smell of kidnergarten bathrooms. Peanut butter, snot, paste, etc.
-Jar of cotton balls in the doctor's office
-People that have seen clockwork orange and pretend they know everthing about movies
-Calculator Watches
-People that ride rollerblades indoors. and skate boards for that matter.
-Baby Genius' movies
-Realtor signs with pictures on it. What you think people are going to buy a house now because you're face on it.
-Pink And Yellow Polos on dudes
-Capes
-Solar Eclipse Party
-Atmoic Bomb drills that they made kids do in the 50's. Covreing your head under your desk with do absolutely zero in the event of a nuclear blast.
Friday, May 06, 2005
-Any video game that has the word Quest or Fantasy in the title.
-Athletes that justify demanding a pay raise by saying, "I got kids. They have to eat." You make tens of millions of dollars a year. Do your kids eat gold bars and Ferraris?
-The sound of walking with a Tic-Tac box in your pocket.
-Pulp in orange juice.
-Those fake bullet hole stickers people put on their cars.
-When people call a remote control a 'clicker.'
-Athletes that justify demanding a pay raise by saying, "I got kids. They have to eat." You make tens of millions of dollars a year. Do your kids eat gold bars and Ferraris?
-The sound of walking with a Tic-Tac box in your pocket.
-Pulp in orange juice.
-Those fake bullet hole stickers people put on their cars.
-When people call a remote control a 'clicker.'
-The wood finish on station wagons from the 80's
-Field Hockey. Like it's real important to give tax-payer's money to girls who can wack a tennis ball around a field.
-Black Twizzlers
-Shirts with like wolves howling at a moon, or killer whales jumping on them
-Field Hockey. Like it's real important to give tax-payer's money to girls who can wack a tennis ball around a field.
-Black Twizzlers
-Shirts with like wolves howling at a moon, or killer whales jumping on them
-The smell of pennies
-Banana-flavored Now and Laters
-Bathing suits with mesh inside. I think they're supposed to act like a pair of underwear, but I don't get their purpose. You're wearing a bathing suit, why do you need to have fake underwear sewn into them? It makes no sense.
-The ten thousand different "Special Editions" of Monopoly
-How the New York Po$t $ub$titutes dollar $igns for the letter S in all their headline$
-When DVDs come packaged with sixteen of those stickers on them that are near impossible to get off
-Banana-flavored Now and Laters
-Bathing suits with mesh inside. I think they're supposed to act like a pair of underwear, but I don't get their purpose. You're wearing a bathing suit, why do you need to have fake underwear sewn into them? It makes no sense.
-The ten thousand different "Special Editions" of Monopoly
-How the New York Po$t $ub$titutes dollar $igns for the letter S in all their headline$
-When DVDs come packaged with sixteen of those stickers on them that are near impossible to get off
-Using an almost empty ketchup bottles and having it fart out a semi-clear red water onto your fries.
-Little kids talking about how they can count to a million
-People who think it's cool to be married at like age 18 and act like they know more about life than anyone else.
-People who eat jello at all-you-can-eat buffets...I don't know why but this bothers me greatly.
-Little kids talking about how they can count to a million
-People who think it's cool to be married at like age 18 and act like they know more about life than anyone else.
-People who eat jello at all-you-can-eat buffets...I don't know why but this bothers me greatly.
-Driving behind a car with like eighty pounds of Dale Earnhardt Jr. memorabilia all over it.
-When you are opening a new pack of gum, and you pull on the little red stripe to open it, and it rips off like 2 inches, then you have to dig at the rip for 20 minutes to get the gum out
-Al from Home Improvement as host of "Family Feud"
-Vegans
-Cats with obnoxiously long whiskers
-When you are opening a new pack of gum, and you pull on the little red stripe to open it, and it rips off like 2 inches, then you have to dig at the rip for 20 minutes to get the gum out
-Al from Home Improvement as host of "Family Feud"
-Vegans
-Cats with obnoxiously long whiskers
-Sweat Pants with the like elastic bottoms. Hard to explain but they're not cool.
-Little 'punk rock' pins on like those liek gigantic purse backpacks
-Guys with red hair and a tremendous amount of freckles
-The sound of pots and pans falling
-[So it looks like finding pubic hairs in chinese food wasn't up to Dave's standards for this blog, and I seemed to have rattled him greatly]
-Little 'punk rock' pins on like those liek gigantic purse backpacks
-Guys with red hair and a tremendous amount of freckles
-The sound of pots and pans falling
-[So it looks like finding pubic hairs in chinese food wasn't up to Dave's standards for this blog, and I seemed to have rattled him greatly]
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Oh man, the PAX network does suck. Good call
-When old people blow their noses. They can't just blow their nose, they have to dig deep into their nostrils, like they are hoping to pull out some brain matter. Face the fact: you're picking your nose in public. The addition of a tissue doesn't make it acceptable. Then, after all that disgusting blowing and picking, they put the tissue BACK INTO THEIR POCKET. What the hell are you going to do with it? You've destroyed it beyond recognition. Why are you keeping it?
-Reruns of "The Nanny."
-Fat girls who wear tiny, midriff-exposing shirts. Their bellies hang over their jeans, their torsos look like candles with fat wax dripping all over their pants.
-The flimsy cone cups at water coolers.
-The PAX television network
-Reruns of "The Nanny."
-Fat girls who wear tiny, midriff-exposing shirts. Their bellies hang over their jeans, their torsos look like candles with fat wax dripping all over their pants.
-The flimsy cone cups at water coolers.
-The PAX television network
-Sandals on guys anywhere but the beach.
-This haircut and this guy
If that link doesn't work cut and paste this insto your browser. It's imperative you see it. http://image22.webshots.com/23/2/25/84/237322584ESbPFE_ph.jpg
-Those headphones with like the flimsy ass metal holding the two earpieces
-That clear plastic that old people put over everything ranging from dinner tables to couches
-Artichokes..Wtf is an artichoke?
-This haircut and this guy
If that link doesn't work cut and paste this insto your browser. It's imperative you see it. http://image22.webshots.com/23/2/25/84/237322584ESbPFE_ph.jpg
-Those headphones with like the flimsy ass metal holding the two earpieces
-That clear plastic that old people put over everything ranging from dinner tables to couches
-Artichokes..Wtf is an artichoke?
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
-When you turn on the Weather Channel to get your local forecast, and you just get the tail end of it, showing the radar with green sweeping across it for two seconds before they cut back to the anchors.
-Guys who play volleyball. I always imagine that arbitrary scene from the movie Top Gun.
-Coach Bags. I don't see the logic in a 250$ bag the size of a cell phone that has C's printed all over it.
-The screen colors of old computer. I find that neon green on dark green to be the worlds most depressing color combination.
-Plumber ass. There just something so sad about seeing a grown man's ass crack hang out. Whats even worse?
-Fat Bitch plumber ass
-Kids named Lawrence
-Coach Bags. I don't see the logic in a 250$ bag the size of a cell phone that has C's printed all over it.
-The screen colors of old computer. I find that neon green on dark green to be the worlds most depressing color combination.
-Plumber ass. There just something so sad about seeing a grown man's ass crack hang out. Whats even worse?
-Fat Bitch plumber ass
-Kids named Lawrence
-People from Upstate New York that instead of saying 'docu-MENT-ary', like you're supposed to, they say 'docu-men-TARY'
-Saying 'pop' instead of 'soda'
-When you have a pair of shoelaces that when you tie them, it always ends up one loop is gigantic, and one is so small to barely stays in the bow and you have to end up tying your shoes like 6 times a day
-Nelly
-The first bite into an apple where no matter what angle you take to bite it you're going to end up with apple skin lodged deep between your teeth
-I know it'll be controversial, but Dr. Pepper. I just hate it. I don't know what taste they're going for, but I can't drink more than three sips of it before I'm done. It's too.....peppery, I guess. I don't know how to explain it. I just feels like it's declaring war on my tongue and throat every time I drink it.
-Saying 'pop' instead of 'soda'
-When you have a pair of shoelaces that when you tie them, it always ends up one loop is gigantic, and one is so small to barely stays in the bow and you have to end up tying your shoes like 6 times a day
-Nelly
-The first bite into an apple where no matter what angle you take to bite it you're going to end up with apple skin lodged deep between your teeth
-I know it'll be controversial, but Dr. Pepper. I just hate it. I don't know what taste they're going for, but I can't drink more than three sips of it before I'm done. It's too.....peppery, I guess. I don't know how to explain it. I just feels like it's declaring war on my tongue and throat every time I drink it.
-Right wing clueless idiots who think its awesome to tell people who don't love America to leave. If you loved it so much I wouldn't hear it because you'd be dodging AK-47 bullets in the desert. And seriously do I take part in everything I love? Since when could I not go into Wal-Mart because I didn't LOVE it, or the dentist? Give me a fucking break.
-People who eat chocolate filled Croissants for breakfast. America wonders why we're disgusting when we need to incorporate chocolate filling into our breakfast.
-On the topic of food, people who think it's cool to eat anything with soy in it. I saw soy bacon in the store the other day, next thing you know I'll be typing on a soy keyboard.
-People who eat chocolate filled Croissants for breakfast. America wonders why we're disgusting when we need to incorporate chocolate filling into our breakfast.
-On the topic of food, people who think it's cool to eat anything with soy in it. I saw soy bacon in the store the other day, next thing you know I'll be typing on a soy keyboard.
-In sports, when people say, "If the season ended today..." The season isn't ending today, so who the hell cares?
-The color of appliances from the 1970s. That puke green and baby shit yellow. Who thought those were cool colors?
-Drinking water out of a warm water bottle
-The color of appliances from the 1970s. That puke green and baby shit yellow. Who thought those were cool colors?
-Drinking water out of a warm water bottle
